Most of the people on the planet may be suffering varying degrees of a previously undiagnosed mental disorder called sex on the wrong brain. 

For centuries sex on the wrong brain has plagued civilizations, shaping culture, religion, and politics. It thrives in sexual repression and affluence. It causes an irrational need for certainty and a corresponding need to avoid uncertainty. It increases fear, greed, absolutism, hypocrisy, intolerance, extremism, empire building, and the repetition of undesirable histories. Sex on the wrong brain limits human progress and destroys civilizations. And it is normal in many modern societies.

Sex on the wrong brain happens when sex energy stimulates or is associated with the left side of the brain.

The left brain is wired to the right hand and the right brain is wired to the left hand. The left brain controls, and can be stimulated by, motion of the right hand.


By default, most 'civilized' humans have their first sexual experiences with the right hand. Continued sex with the right hand can program long lasting neural pathways that may continue to divert sex energy to the left brain long after regular real sex starts.

What's wrong with sex on the wrong brain?

Some functions of the brain are lateralized to one side or the other


In the right side of the brain sex energy stimulates emotions, chasing and games, creativity, art, music, romance, love, frustration, sex, orgasm, and the biological end result, reproduction.

The left side of the brain is the logical, analytical side, where math and science are done, where accountants and generals work.

Sex energy isn’t just another fuel- it’s supposed to make the world go around. It stimulates and accumulates like other forms of energy but it also frustrates and creates an urge for satisfaction strong enough to override logic and reason.

Regular use of the right brain for creativity, art, music, etc., can help reroute some of the misguided energy back over to the right brain as if it’s just taking a temporary detour, reducing the symptoms. But if the right brain is underused and isolated, significant amounts of sex energy can be trapped and accumulate in the left brain, causing chronic imbalances and a variety of long term symptoms. Some of those symptoms are described below.

When sex goes wrong, sexual dysfunction


The more sex energy that is diverted to the left brain the less there is for sexual pleasure and orgasm in the right brain, especially as overall quantities decline with age.

If the left brain is trapping large proportions of the available sex energy an isolated right brain may have difficulty getting and storing the amounts needed for sex drive and orgasm. People suffering sex on the wrong brain may routinely and unknowingly use brain switching mechanisms to transfer sex energy to the right brain when needed. 

One common type of switching mechanism involves entering or creating a stressful or emotional situation to stimulate the underused right brain. Switching mechanisms vary widely and may involve irrational, risky, or bizarre behavior, ceremonies and rituals, pain, fear, and hate and may have very little obvious connection with sex. They can be used to transfer energy all at once for an immediate rush of satisfaction, or more gradually in smaller amounts. Long-lasting irrational hatred, for example, may be quite satisfying for sex on the wrong brain. Some left brain dominant people can become dependent on switching mechanisms and use them regularly during the day. A variety of chemicals are also used for switching.

Sex and violence


Combining sex and imagined, threatened, or actual physical violence with willing or unwilling partners may be a common way to trigger the emotions necessary to transfer sex energy to the right brain for pleasure. Satisfaction may be proportional to the intensity of the emotions created and the amount of sex energy rushing from the left to the right brain.

The irrational need for certainty may be the most serious problem caused by sex on the wrong brain.

The left brain is not supposed to crave satisfaction. It’s supposed to be logical when it analyzes and solves problems. It’s supposed to be objective when it measures and compares and patient and fair when it judges it’s options.

When sex energy adds frustration and urgency to the left brain, satisfaction comes from being certain. The feeling of finality it brings may become more satisfying than the truth.

As the need for certainty worsens so does the need to avoid uncertainty. The inability to avoid general or particular uncertainties, such as unexplainable and uncontrollable aspects of nature, may create insecurity, stress, and fear. In order to avoid sources of uncertainty the left brain becomes more and more selective, limiting information and options and undermining objectivity. Input from the creative right brain is reduced, limiting the curiosity, intelligence, and wisdom of the whole brain.

In order to minimize uncertainty, a variety of belief systems and value structures have evolved to explain or destroy the uncertainties of nature and apply absolute value judgments to uncertain and chaotic aspects of life. They strive to provide order, control, and a predictable framework in which to find certainty. They offer opportunities for conformity and subjective correctness and a ready supply of reassuring answers. Being part of a larger group that can constantly judge the world with certitude in absolute terms of good/evil, black/white, winner/loser, and yes/no can be deeply comforting and perhaps even life-saving for a left brain fueled with sex energy.

To protect the dominant value structures and the artificial certainty they provide anything that doesn’t fit or can’t be controlled may be attacked or ignored. Extreme levels of denial, hypocrisy, and injustice are possible.

Self destructing empires and the need for certainty


In populations suffering high levels of sex on the wrong brain the need for certainty may override important survival considerations when choosing or tolerating leaders and futures. Leaders or ruling groups may be worshipped for the high levels of certitude they project while comparable levels of incompetence, hypocrisy, and cruelty in the same leaders are ignored. Certainty is better than truth. For centuries ruling groups suffering high levels of sex on the wrong brain have supplied certitude like a drug, using uncertainty and fear to increase its value.

Greed and objectification


Another problem is that the left side of the brain is for classifying, putting things in order, and counting. It objectifies and quantifies. The potent energy that’s meant to fuel love and desire for a mate instead causes obsessions for objects and ideals and greed for more, bigger, better, and faster. Satisfaction comes in terms of magnitude. In the left brain pleasure and beauty are measured in dollars and inches.

Miscellaneous symptomsof moderate and severe sex on the wrong brain include an obsessive need to be correct, hypersensitivity to criticism, and fear of individuality, diversity, and creativity. Relative value systems that threaten certainty represent a constant source of frustration. Control and order may become obsessions. Worshiping and repeating known but painful pasts is preferable to change and exploration of new and uncertain futures. Levels of artificial certainty may be developed to allow snap decisions with no thought for consequences. Within sex on the wrong brain value structures rigid left brain intelligence that favors memory of detail is promoted even if it develops in parallel with a proportional lack of objectivity and wisdom.

Is the problem greater in some countries than others?
Studies suggest in western countries 9 out of 10 males and 8 out of 10 females have 'experimented' with masturbation. Most of those people are right handed.
Sex on the wrong brain could be expected to be worse in societies whose dominant value structures disproportionately reward and encourage left brained over right brained thinking.
Sexual freedom and sexual repression, access to privacy, general levels of titillation, leisure time, health, diet, stress, genetics, etc., are a few of the possible factors influencing the available levels of sex energy and the popularity and frequency of masturbation in a particular society.
Do abstinence programs promote sex on the wrong brain?
A society with a dominant economic structure that sexually stimulates its citizenry constantly to sell its products while at the same time shunning sex with its dominant moral value structures may be suffering widespread and severe sex on the wrong brain. Are these value structures the causes or consequences of sex on the wrong brain? Do they create a sex on the wrong brain cycle that feeds itself and gets worse and worse?
The Koran says that men can only have sex with their wives and "that which the right hand possesses", which scholars interpret to mean slaves and captives. But how many people can afford slaves and captives? And who wants them?

When in the history of humankind did sex on the wrong brain begin to be a problem?

The severity may be a function of the increased specialization of the brain and an increasing emphasis on the left brain in relation to a particular culture or environment. How long has right handedness been dominant over left handedness? How significant is it that in the old days one hand was usually chosen for wiping ass and one was for eating and greetings, etc.?
Does sex on the wrong brain help answer age old questions about male/female differences?
Anatomical differences between the sexes require mechanical differences in motion and technique for masturbation which will effect the degree of connection between the hand and brain.
What proportion of women use two hands at once? Are women more likely to try the left hand and continue? Do the vibrations of a vibrator, held in the right hand, make the connection to the left brain even stronger? Do some right handed women divert a greater proportion of their sex energy to the left brain because they use a higher degree of manual dexterity than men? Does sex on the wrong brain help explain 'orgasm difficulties' with women? What about impotence or premature ejaculation in men?
Recent work by Gert Holstege (2005) studying brain activity during sexual arousal and orgasm needs analysis with sex on the wrong brain in mind.

What about left handed people?
A disproportionate number of left handed people are known for their creativity. Do they send unusual amounts of sex energy to the right brain? There is some indication that in some left handed people, left and right brain generalities are reversed.

The right hand is the sword and hammer hand.
It is considered the male hand. Are a lot of guys having sex with the guy hand?

Could internet porn reduce general levels of sex on the wrong brain?
Have levels of sex on the wrong brain increased in response to increased access to pornography? But how many right handed porn surfers use their right hand for the computer mouse instead?

Is sex on the wrong brain a major cause of mental stress?

Could switching hands reduce pimples and acne?

Is there a cure?
Masturbation can start early and needs to be part of standard sex education.
If you masturbate with your right hand switch immediately. You might be able to reroute the old channels. Use your right brain more, even in what are considered to be left brained only activities. Get creative.
Some ancient disciplines such as tantric yoga can be used to control sexual energy and specialists in those fields will probably be more help than the traditionally trained western professionals, most of whom will think you’re being silly because they can’t find anything about it in their books. Deep relaxation might help open connections between left brain and right brain and reduce some symptoms. 

NOTE! Researchers recently studied 50 years of psychological profiles of conservatives and identified certain mental characteristics that are also common to sex on the wrong brain. Their findings, published in the American Psychological Association's Psychological Bulletin (Political Conservatism as Motivated Social Cognition, Jost, J.T., et al, 2003, May), listed these predictors: fear, aggression, dogmatism, authoritarianism, avoidance of uncertainty, tolerance of inequality, intolerance of ambiguity, resistance to change and lack of "integrative complexity" in thought and speech. 


Switch now!

The author makes a few assumptions and simplifications and is not a doctor, sex therapist, psychologist, psychiatrist, or any other ‘ist’ that might give this theory any scientific legitimacy.

Copyright 2003